What To Expect During A Divorce Settlement Conference

Explanation of what a divorce settlement conference is and its purpose

A settlement conference is a meeting between divorcing spouses, their attorneys and a neutral third party, usually a mediator or judge, to discuss and negotiate the terms of a proposed divorce settlement. The purpose of the conference is to help the parties reach an agreement on all outstanding issues related to their divorce, including property division, child custody and support and spousal support.

The conference is typically held after the parties have completed the discovery process and have a good understanding of each other’s financial and personal circumstances. The mediator or judge will help the parties identify the issues that need to be resolved and will, in an attempt to facilitate the negotiation process, suggest ways the parties might compromise or will advise the parties as to how she/he would decide the case if she/he were sitting as the trial judge.

The conference is not a trial and the parties are not required to reach an agreement. However, the conference can be a helpful way to resolve the issues in a divorce case and avoid the need for a trial which can be costly. Litigants in family court always wonder what to expect during a divorce settlement conference. That is the topic of discussion in this post.

Overview of the legal framework

A divorce settlement conference, also known as a settlement hearing or mediation, is a crucial stage in the divorce process where both parties, along with their legal representatives, come together to negotiate and, with the assistance of a judge, attempt to reach an agreement on all aspects of their divorce. The rules that govern the procedure in family court provide for a settlement conference in most common law jurisdictions.

This conference is held before a judge or mediator, who facilitates the discussion and guides the parties toward a mutually acceptable resolution. The primary objective of the settlement conference is to resolve all, or at least some, of the outstanding issues related to the divorce such as property division, spousal support, child custody and visitation and any other financial or legal matters.

During the conference, the parties have the opportunity to present their positions, explore potential compromises and negotiate terms . The judge or mediator acts as a neutral third party, assisting in the negotiations and ensuring that both parties are treated fairly.

If an agreement is reached during the conference, it is documented in a written settlement agreement, which is then submitted to the court for approval. This document is referred to as a Memorandum of Understanding or Minutes of Settlement. If a settlement is not reached, the case may proceed to trial, where a judge will make the final decisions on all the unresolved issues. If some, but not all, issues are settled, only the issues that remain outstanding will go to trial thereby simplifying and shortening the length of the trial.

Divorce settlement conferences play a vital role in resolving divorce cases efficiently and amicably, helping to minimize conflict and preserve relationships, especially when children are involved.

Preparing for Your Divorce Settlement Conference

The importance of emotional and mental preparation

Preparing for a divorce settlement conference requires focus and some emotional and mental fortitude. Understandably, this can be stressful and overwhelming experience since, if the case is not settled at the conference stage of the proceedings, the case will proceed to trial.

To navigate this process effectively, it’s important to prioritize self-care and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that promote relaxation such as exercise, meditation or spending time in nature. Maintain a healthy diet and get adequate sleep to ensure your physical and mental health are at their best. Seeking support from friends, family or a therapist can also provide invaluable emotional scaffolding during this challenging time.

Educating yourself about the legal aspects of divorce and all other outstanding issues and the potential outcomes of the settlement conference can help alleviate anxiety and empower you to make informed decisions. Remember that it’s perfectly normal to experience a range of emotions throughout this process and seeking professional help if needed is a sign of strength and resilience.

Gathering and organizing financial documents and other relevant information

Preparing for a divorce settlement conference requires meticulous attention to detail and careful organization of financial documents and other relevant information. This is necessary because the judge or mediator will need to understand the issues fully and will review all documents filed prior to the conference. In this way, the conference can proceed in a meaningful and efficient way.

This process involves gathering essential documents such as tax returns, bank statements, investment account statements and retirement account statements to provide a comprehensive picture of both parties’ financial situations. Additionally, it is crucial to compile documentation of debts, including credit card statements, loan agreements and mortgage statements, to ensure that all liabilities are accounted for.

Furthermore, gathering evidence of income, such as copies of pay stubs, income statements and balance sheets, income tax returns and Notices of Assessment is essential for determining each party’s earning capacity and ability to contribute to the settlement. It is also advisable to obtain appraisals for any real estate properties or other valuable assets to establish their fair market value.

Organizing these documents systematically, whether in physical folders or digital files, will facilitate easy access and efficient presentation during the settlement conference. This thorough preparation ensures that both parties and their legal representatives have a clear understanding of the financial circumstances, enabling them to engage in informed negotiations and reach a fair and equitable settlement agreement.

Setting realistic goals and understanding the art of compromise

Preparing for a divorce settlement demands careful consideration and an understanding of the complexities involved. Setting realistic goals is crucial to achieving a fair and amicable outcome. Both parties should prioritize their needs and interests while acknowledging the importance of compromise. Open communication and transparency are essential in facilitating a constructive dialogue. Remember that the other side wants certain results as well so a willingness to compromise is required from both parties.

It is advisable to seek professional guidance from legal experts and financial advisors to ensure that all aspects of the settlement are addressed thoroughly. Patience and empathy are key throughout the process, as emotions can run high during this challenging time. Remember that the ultimate aim is to reach an agreement that serves the best interests of both parties and minimizes the impact on any children involved.

Consulting with your attorney to establish a strategy

In preparation for a divorce settlement, consulting with an experienced attorney to establish a strategy is important. This initial consultation serves as the foundation for a successful outcome, allowing you to navigate the legal complexities and emotional challenges that lie ahead.

Your lawyer will assess your unique circumstances including assets, debts, income and child custody concerns, to develop a tailored strategy that aligns with your objectives. They will provide guidance on gathering essential financial documents such as tax returns, bank statements and property valuations, to ensure a comprehensive understanding of the marital estate.

In addition, your lawyer will discuss the various options for dispute resolution, including mediation, negotiation and litigation, helping you make informed decisions about the best course of action. In my own practice, I invariably advise clients that, for a number of very good reasons, negotiation of an agreement is, by far, a preferred way of resolving the issues as opposed to going to trial. By engaging in this initial consultation, you empower yourself with the knowledge and support necessary to protect your rights and interests throughout the divorce process.

What Happens During and After the Conference

Walkthrough of the typical settlement conference day

A divorce settlement conference is a meeting between the divorcing spouses, their lawyers and a neutral third party, typically a mediator or judge, to discuss and negotiate the terms of their divorce settlement. The goal of the conference is to reach an agreement that is acceptable to both parties and avoids the need for a trial.

The typical settlement conference day begins with introductions and opening statements from the lawyers. Each lawyer will present their client’s case and explain their desired outcome. Often, a judge may dispense with oral argument on the positions of the parties as she/he has already read the settlement conference briefs that are in the court file. The mediator or judge will then lead the discussion, helping the parties to identify the issues that need to be resolved and facilitating negotiations.

The parties will discuss the outstanding issues during the conference. The mediator or judge will help the parties to understand how that judge might decide the issues if it were a trial and will encourage them to compromise and reach an agreement.

If the parties are able to reach an agreement, the terms of the settlement will be put into writing and signed by both parties. The agreement will then be submitted to the court for approval. If the court approves the agreement, it will become a legally binding order.

If the parties are unable to reach an agreement at the settlement conference, the case will proceed to trial. A trial is a formal hearing in which the parties present their evidence and arguments to a judge. The trial judge will then decide the issues in the case and issue a judgment.

Strategies for negotiation and communication

In a divorce settlement conference, negotiation and communication play pivotal roles in reaching a mutually acceptable agreement. Strategies for effective negotiation include:

1. Preparation: Gather all relevant financial and legal documents, including income statements, asset valuations, and child support guidelines. Research comparable settlements in similar cases to establish a reasonable range for negotiations. If you are represented by a lawyer, the lawyer will have already advised you on the likely resolution of all outstanding issues.

2. Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial. Listen actively to your spouse’s concerns and try to understand their perspective. Express your own needs and interests clearly and respectfully. Above all, avoid using inflammatory language or making threats. A judge will not tolerate emotional outbursts in the courtroom.

3. Interests vs. Positions: Focus on the underlying interests rather than fixed positions. Explore creative solutions that address both parties’ concerns. In all successful negotiations, both parties must be willing to compromise in order to find common ground.

4. BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement): Determine your best alternative if negotiations fail. This could be going to trial or accepting a less favorable settlement. Knowing your BATNA gives you a stronger negotiating position. Often, a settlement that is not the one hoped for may still be a better outcome that a result imposed by a judge at trial.

5. Concessions: Be prepared to make concessions but do so strategically. Offer concessions in exchange for something of equal or greater value. Avoid making concessions too early or without receiving anything in return.

6. Patience and Persistence: Divorce negotiations can be lengthy and emotionally challenging. Maintain patience and persistence throughout the process. Be willing to take breaks if emotions run high. Remember that the goal is to reach a fair and equitable settlement not to win or lose. Remember that a judge sitting at trial will impose a resolution that is fair to the parties and takes into account the best interests of children.

7. Legal and Financial Advice: Consult with legal and financial professionals to ensure you fully understand your rights and options. They can provide valuable guidance and support during the negotiation process.

How decisions are documented: the role of the Memorandum of Understanding

In a divorce settlement conference, a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) or Minutes of Settlement (MOS) plays a pivotal role in documenting the decisions reached by the parties involved. This comprehensive document outlines the agreed-upon terms and conditions of the settlement, serving as a legally binding agreement between the spouses. The MOU typically addresses various aspects of the divorce, including the division of assets and debts, spousal support (alimony), child custody and visitation arrangements and any other relevant matters. It provides a clear and detailed record of the parties’ intentions and ensures that both parties are aware of their rights and obligations under the settlement.

The MOU is drafted by the attorneys representing each party and is reviewed thoroughly by both spouses before it is signed. Once executed, the MOU is submitted to the court for approval and incorporation into the final divorce decree. This comprehensive document serves as a valuable tool in facilitating an amicable resolution and minimizing potential disputes in the future.

Post-conference steps: Finalizing the divorce and court approval process

Following a divorce settlement conference, there are several post-conference steps that must be taken to finalize the divorce and obtain court approval.

A judge will review the MOU and, unless there is something unusual that is of concern to the judge, the judge will endorse the MOU and the lawyers will draft a court order which is filed with the court office. If court staff are satisfied that the drafted order properly reflects the MOU, the draft order will be issued and entered in to the court record.

The final divorce order is a legally binding document that sets forth the terms of the divorce as agreed upon by the parties. It is important to note that the divorce settlement conference is just one step in the divorce process and there are still several steps that must be taken before the divorce is finalized.

I hope you have derived some benefit from this content. If you have questions or would like to comment I invite you to do so in the ‘Leave a Reply’ section below. Finally, if you would like to subscribe to our newsletter please enter your name and best email in the form below.

 Grant Rayner*

*Grant is a member of the Law Society of Ontario. He has permission from the Law Society of New Brunswick to practice as a visiting lawyer with the firm Langdon Law pending the transfer of his membership with the Law Society in Ontario to the Law Society of New Brunswick.

If you are separating from your spouse in the Upper St. John River Valley, call Grant at the offices of Langdon Law: 506.497.2560. Grant has been in practice for more than 39 years and has the experience, sensitivity and maturity to guide you through this difficult period in your life.